I can’t help but laugh

+ The power went out at work yesterday. We had to have someone yell at people coming towards the store to say we’re closed as a bunch of us rushed to get all the cold stuff into the freezers/coolers as fast as possible. I think we made it. (Jamie hit the store this morning while I was working on brushing my hair and said it was open). I was told to “go away” at 5.30 because I was supposed to have left at 4. We wound up with 3 associates from other stores and 2 of the loss prevention guys.

+ I ended up getting frustrated because I had just gotten the lottery tickets I needed to have in the machine that day because it hadn’t arrived the day before.

+ Opening up a case of M&Ms in a pitch-black store makes an echoing farting noise.

+ I now have just over 3.5 hours over my scheduled time. The first hour, we don’t know what happened. The second hour was when Screechypants asked if I could stay over a little bit to help out. An hour and a half was from the power-outage, and a handful of minutes is from the usual end-of-shift discussions.


+ I spent 5 hours brushing my hair. It sounds crazy, but I also haven’t brushed my hair in…days. I don’t remember how long ago it was (that’s bad, I know) So now my hair is braided and pulled into a pony tail. I still need to un-braid everything, re-brush because I’m sure I’ve missed a knot or three, and work on separating my hair for tomorrow.

+ Tomorrow is May the Fourth (I’m more of a Revenge of the Fifth person), so I’m planning on putting my hair into buns and wearing glitter.

flowing along

Apparently I have a couple of drafts that I didn’t “finish” and hit “post” on that would describe the last 2 weeks. *shrug* Oh well.

Basically: the last two weeks have been weird. Fucking stressful. But weird and to the point where, somehow, while I’ve been running my ass off, I have become the Voice Of Reason to my coworkers.

Work:: Or, I am going to blather on about work. I’m going to try to remember to bold the areas that I’m going to talk about.

Work is fucking crazy. HeadBoss has decided that NOW Is the TIME that we get 6 mods/modulars/planograms/whatever-your-company-calls-them done. With 1 to 3 stockers and 1 ASM (Screechypants) to do them.

It makes no sense. We have Inventory on Monday and now she’s decided that the mods that were due earlier in the month (or last month, or are due next month) need to be done Right Now.

One of the newer guys got a Department Manager position, so there went the extra walkie we had (we’re supposed to have 4: one for the accounting department, because they’re trained to be our backup if it gets busy; one for maintenance, because one of out maintenance guys is 80-something and I, personally, am afraid that one day he’s going to fall out in the store; and two for us.). So now, I’m down to My Walkie (the walkie for my department that gets handed over to the next person) and Accounting’s Walkie. This is not the first time someone has stolen the extra walkie. One of the guys found one in a jacket that hasn’t been worn in months in the breakroom.

Sunday was Easter. People were amazed that we were open (I had one person call on Saturday asking if we’d be open). Some people were shocked that we would work on “such a holy day.”

Anyone who said this to me got the response: “It doesn’t bother me. My holiday was a couple weeks ago.” Or: “I work every holiday, it’s just another day to me.”

Yesterday, Screechypants, on the verge of a stress-induced screamfest (I swear, one day she’s going to give herself an aneurysm), made a ton of stuff 25cents and 10cents. I spent almost the entire shift running back and forth, manually overriding all this Easter stuff (egg dyes, basket fillers, baskets, candy, pre-made baskets, plastic eggs).

I got to the point where I looked at her and went: “I am so tired, but I’m wide awake. It’s a good thing I took a Sprint this morning.”

My body was tired, but my mind was wired. (I had a Kickstart, a Sprint, and a headache pill. I was ready to gogogo despite my body  begging me to sit down)

I also got my Evaluation yesterday. It boiled down to: I am fucking awesome but I’m messy and scatterbrained, but I’m getting better about being messy and scatterbrained.

My write up ends up being: Needs Improvement. But hell, I love Needs Improvement. I would rather have that than a full Solid, Yo, because that means I can’t learn anything else. Needs Improvement means: open to new ideas, to work with wiggle room, find better ways to make things even more awesome.

Also, I bought a bunch of plastic eggs I didn’t need. They’re sparkly.

Oh! In the morning, I found Poodle looking down at my notebook. She’s used to seeing my notes for Minions (when they come in, breaks, what needs to be done, etc) so was really confused on my notes about a concept on non-humans.

I ended up telling her, and one of my minions, that I use notes to myself because I write about work. I continued with: I use the term “Store” to describe where I work, because it’s easier. It’s not imaginative, but it works. Minion nodded and Poodle kind of smiled (she had a massive migraine the day before and was still trying to recover). I continued with I have nicknames for some people. I said: Y’all are my “minions,” and I have other names.

Minion asked if she had a nickname and I told her no because I didn’t think I’d written much about her. She asked for a nickname because she thought it was hilarious. Poodle asked if she had one and I said “Yeah, I call you Poodle because you’re foofy and remind me of a poodle I had.”

Poodle laughed and laughed. She said she loved the nickname and loved that it’s mainly because she’s foofy.

They asked if anyone else had nicknames. I mentioned a couple and they laughed even harder. Poodle said that now she knows what I call Screechypants her nickname she’s going to just laugh every time she sees her. (screechypants being called as such because for like two weeks straight she screeched at me almost non-stop. I feel kinda bad for calling her this online because things have gotten better between us and I can see why she’s getting screechy/stressed and I’m trying to help, but still)

Art:: (now to talk about artsy fartsy things. This is a wide window, but might be short, I don’t know)

So! Art!

I am so terrible at art.

I found my…giant folder (made of pressboard and duct tape! $3-$8 of materials:: cheaper than a Real Art Folder and has lasted since 2006 so booyah motherfucker). I want to open it and put some of my arts on the walls. But I’m also kind of afraid of what I’ll find.

I know I’ll find the partially-finished peice of work that I was attempting to do for a school project (college project) of Jamie Madrox and Monoxide Child (aka: Twiztid! Woo!). I never finished it. The professor thought it was neat, but ambitious. He was right, I never finished it and somehow still managed to pass the class (I have no idea what my grades were)

I’ve got a couple peices I did set up in the craft room. The Traveler (done in middle school) and The Daemon (done in high school) are tacked up there. A few of my peices ended up molding, which is weird, but I’m cool with it. Sometimes art is meant to be trashed.

I worked on the comics that I want to post a couple weeks ago. They’re currently buried under a Dalek poster (that the dogs hit and broke the frame somehow), tupperware containers that Jamie can’t use (but I can! because: teeny stuffs need homes), and various papers.

One day I’ll post this shit. I want to. I’m just not…organized, ambitious, etc. *shrug*

I did start working on the baby blanket I promised someone would be done in January (as that was when the baby was due) and I’ve been having fun with that. The baby blanket should, in theory, should be 180 rows. I am currently at 80 rows finished.

I’d decided that, while the parents love the colour green, there should be stripes of colour. So, I’d planned on each colour being 10 rows, therefore each colour block would be able to help me out in keeping track on what it is. It’s great in theory.

I am at 80 rows. 10 rows of each colour. I have yet to repeat a colour.

I had no idea I had this many greens.

The downside is: I want to make Jamie take me to AC Moore to search through their $1-skein bin and see if I can find more greens.

Writing:: (woooo)

I’ve been attempting to recover a flash drive that has a chunk of my writing. (and other more important paperworky things) It has the dark-ride story on it somehwere.


The two stories I’m going back and forth on while on the PC have…not gotten far.

The one I want to saunter into novelette form is at a halt. I haven’t been back to it for a few weeks or so (I don’t know anymore). I was able to get about 400 words in it and then realized that I needed to make a note as to who was who. During the writing, because I wanted to introduce another person and didn’t want them to be someone I’d already mentioned, I realized that 2 of the characters only had last names (because they’re notated as Mr-so-n-so). It’s been weird and hilarious.

The other story I’ve been “working” on has come to a halt. I’m past the notes I made while at work and it’s veered vastly off the course of my intentions, which I find really neat. It’s just…I don’t know what to do next.

Instead of working on the stories that I need to work on. I’ve been jotting down little notes for other stories and reading writing prompts and scrolling through Tumblr.

Everyone is way more motivated than myself. I am amazed and awed by people.

Overall, I’m really hoping that at some point I can do like a little anthology of stories. Or be good enough to submit to Pseudopod or NoSleep (high aspirations, yo. Hey, I think it would be the coolest thing).


I keep going back and forth on things. I have a handful of books that I’m bouncing around on: The Fireman, Ravenswood, Dad’s Nuke, etc. I’ve started reading a physical copy of The Ghost Brigades (which is amazing to me because of being allergic to the book mold and arthritis, which hasn’t been that bad–which is so awesome, yay! temporary relief!) and have been reading one of the Best New Horror anthologies.

Eventually I’ll find a book to finish and finish more than 1 book a month, which is what I’ve been doing lately.

slow recovery

By slow recovery, I mean: slowly recovering files off a flash drive. It’s been 5 hours and the program is still reading through what it can to figure out what folders is on the flash drive, so that I can pick through it and try to find the file(s) I need.

The Tsum Tsum game I play on my phone has a new Event going on. It’s Star Wars (aka: destroy the destroyer, get a death trooper). 30 cards and I have recently beaten number 17. The entire time I’m playing, I’m laughing. I’m not rebel, I’m alliance (for the Star Wars universe). One day I will have a storm trooper costume (not with a Hero helmet, but the other one…which I’m having a brainfart on remembering the name).

While I have Chewbacca as my go-to tsum for this game, I’m more excited that I got a Death Trooper for beating one of the levels.

The lawn mower won’t work. I’m beginning to believe that Jamie and I are Sudden Death to lawn equipment that isn’t my beloved, partially fucked up, electric weedeater. The front yard looks terrible, especially now since I was able to weedeat part of it and Jamie was supposed to do the rest over the weekend and hadn’t had a chance to get to it. Some of the wild onion is slowly coming up to my knees. Thankfully, the tallest “weeds” are the wild onion, growing in patches, in the front yard.

Am I writing? No, not really. Little notes, quotes, and random tidbits. I am working on the Combo-Breaker blanket that I promised someone would be done back in January. It’s slow going. I’m only 80 rows in, which means I’ve got 100 rows left. Hey, at least it’s some progress.

blank pages

My Weekend from Hell gave me a false reprieve on Monday afternoon before rearing its ugly head to give me the Day From Hell (and causing it to become the Week From Hell) yesterday. Thankfully, I’m off today. Today, I can relax.

And work on laundry (so much laundry).

Jamie won me this hideously green raptor-chick that has a slight resemblance to an endangered bird (a Kakapo), which made the day better. Right before I got to gross out HeadBoss (and Higher-Boss-than-HeadBoss) by pointing out that wild rats in [state] carry bubonic plague. It was a great way to end the work day…the stressful, shitty workday.

On the other hand:

I have coconut curry cashews (bought on Monday afternoon), I got to try chai latte caramel balls (on sale) and found they are amazing and I must buy more of them. I’d eat the remaining handful of them, if I knew where Jamie put them.

I decided, while the dogs were suspiciously quiet, to work on writing a bit. I pulled up the short story I’ve been tinkering with and seeing if it’ll wander into novelette territory (it’s just over the halfway mark to the beginning word-count, so woo). I ended up staring at it for about ten minutes before giving up and staring at a blank document for 20 minutes in the inane hope that I could start working on figuring out how to take an idea that’s currently about 3 sentences saved on my phone.

Now, it’s been an hour. I’ve attempted a tumblr post (about the writing) before deleting it, I’ve spent most of the time listening to an audiobook and double checking my schedule for tomorrow (aka: ohgodsohgodsohgods). Laundry should be ready to fold/transfer from one point to another.

I think I’ll go in search of that candy I bought the other day and see what the dogs have gotten into. They’re suspiciously quiet, but the last time I checked on them they were practically konked out.

[fake writing]

I was planning on working on a story I’m going to see if it will turn into a novelette or something. (It’s currently at 4101 words) I got 140 words…yesterday or the day before (I can’t remember, days blend into each other) and haven’t really figured out where I’m going with it.

I looked at the last-updated tag thing and realized it had been 4 months since I worked on it (work, life, stress, forgetting where I was going–this is why I write notes to myself. I can’t keep up with shit). So, 140 words added to it isn’t that bad.

Am I motivated? No. Do I have that weird passion-filled drive to just write and write and write or simply do something? No. Do I have any idea of where I can go with this? Of course not. Will I ever finish anything I start? Hopefully? Maybe?

I originally intended to make this longer and discuss more things, but I need to Do Things, like work on getting the knots out of my hair and take care of the dogs.

spring is here

Spring is here in Roanoke, which pretty much means that we’re getting 3 seasons in one day (spring, summer, fall) or sporadic showers, which makes outdoor work a bit hard. Jamie’s determined to get things done to make the house look better and implement plans that we’ve been talking about off and on for at least two years.

The hope, overall, is to replace the privacy fencing. Thanks to a certain old-man (Hobbes), we’ve got some spots in the fencing that have become broken. We’ve gotten enough soil to fill in the area where we tore down the studio-thing that was on the property, so we’re hoping to top it off with concrete or something soon. Jamie’s determined to tear up the patio and rebuild it. I’m hoping that if he tears up the patio, we can tear out the back porch and build a new back porch. It’s something that we’ve discussed before and, because Firefly managed to get up under the back porch to chase crickets, it’d be a good idea to make it more…dog-stopping. Or Firefly, Miss Grumpypants, stopping.

So, besides outdoor works:

I’ve been trying to find determination and whatnot to write more (or, well, do anything really). Earlier today, I realized I should really work on that short story that I’m seeing how long I can make it.

I had to use 2 post-it notes to write down everyone’s names because I couldn’t remember whose name went with what description. It made me realize that two of the characters (one just mentioned in passing) only have last names. Ha.

Half an hour and I’ve gotten 140 words in. I still can’t remember exactly where I was intending on going with this whole thing.

It’s probably ridiculous, probably reads really stupidly.

So, so far I’m at just over 4,000 words. (in a way, it seems kind of strange. I used to be able to crank out 4,000 words no problem. Now I take what feels like forever)

I’m also working on laundry and other things in between looking up various names of daemons, annoying the cats, checking on Firefly’s ear.

I kind of want to wander

(first off, when did the wordpress update happen? Everything has been shifted to the right and it’s like 90s Angelfire. Wow this is weird)

I don’t remember when I last updated and…I really don’t want to look. I think it was within the last couple weeks? Maybe? I’m taking a break from re-arranging the craft room, so I figured it’d be good to go ahead and update on life, my little universe, and whatnot.

+ I told one of our regulars, and one of my minions, that if they want to adopt Dunk (I had to take him back to RCACP. I feel awful about it, but a whole lot of things happened at once and…yeah, that’s all I’m saying), I would pay for his adoption fee.  The customer was empathetic and the minion was like “Dude, I almost adopted that dog!” (I’m still trying to convince her to adopt him to go with the “teeny tiny” dog she…purchased. The customer and I gave her a ton of shit for buying a mutt. Look, if you’re going for working-breed for working or show dog, I’m more understanding of you buying your dog because of the whole *hand wave* thing. But, seriously, there is no reason why you need to buy a dog. There’s a dumb dog who will love you forever at your local shelter who is a perfect match for you)

+ Coworker M decided to quit while I was on vacation. My guess is that because Screechypants didn’t have me to dump all her anger/rage/stress/freakouts on me and went to him because Coworker C doesn’t take shit from anyone and will tell you to your face. Screechypants also likes Coworker C.

Now, I’m under the impression that Screechypants is, while over-stressing herself out this week, is consciously trying to be nice to me because I am the only idiot who can do the dayshift because Coworker C has changed her availability because she (Coworker C) can’t stand The Poodle.

+ Did I ever mention The Poodle? I know I’ve mentioned her on tumblr, but I can’t remember if I mentioned her here. So: The Poodle is a new-hire for a separate department but also a backup for my department (yay retail). She reminds me of a poodle–specifically, she reminds me of the toy poodle I had in my teens (all bark, no bite, loud as fuck, foofy, no concept of personal space). She also has the same feathery hairstyle my mom had in the early 90s. It’s…odd, but I’m able to use previous training (theatre class, retail work, etc) to work around her.

+ Coworker C and The Poodle clash like two five year olds trying to beat the hell out of each other over the last crayon. I try to stay out of it. I don’t need more stress in my life.

+ Thanks to Coworker C changing her schedule and Coworker M saying “fuck this, I’m out,” I’m now dayshift during the week and…it’s really weird. It’s been a long time since I’ve been dayshift (granted, I’m the closer on the weekends, but whatever). Now I have to learn one of the machines that I’ve been happily able to avoid, for the most part, since I started at Store. This also means that I’m going to actually have to remember one of the Vendor’s names (because of the machine). I’ve got two weeks to learn because Coworker J, who’s been training The Poodle, is leaving. Every time I go to watch him work with this machine, shit hits the fan.


I had an asshole make one of my minions cry.

If I hadn’t been on the clock, I would’ve grabbed him by his shirt collar and dragged him out of the store (can you imagine? 5’2″ teeny tiny Manders dragging a man, who’s old enough to be my grandfather, that is almost 6′ by his jacket or shirt) because you don’t make my minions cry, you fucking bastard. I also would’ve smacked him upside his head for being a lying asshole.


I was on the clock. It happened to be at a slow point where I was actually partially-watching the same minion ring the guy up. I recognized the guy as the same guy who kept giving me dirty looks the other day because he was going to steal something and I was in the way. I watched her ask for the receipt back and pull her phone out before she asked for me to come over. I was pretty close, but not close enough to hear the beginning of the “conversation.”

She is trying to tell me that she messed up and the guy cuts her off, demanding a manager. Smiling, being cheerful, I say that’s me! The guy decides to loom down at me (don’t loom over me. I know I’m short and it just proves you’re a dickwagon) and demands to speak. with. the. manager. I deadpan and wave “Yeah, hi. That’s me.”

(seriously. If you ask to speak with the manager, I’ll be super nice the first time. Demand to speak with the manager again and I won’t be nice when I have to repeat myself. I’ll be polite, because I’m paid to be, but I won’t be nice about it if I know for a fact you heard me the first time)

The guy sticks his finger in my face and tells me that she (my minion) short changed him. She tells me what happened, and he cuts her off to say that she was on her phone talking to someone. She answered a phone call and that’s why she messed up. My minion is getting flustered and loudly states that he’s lying. I realize that my minion has never encountered something like this and I can’t show emotion, my thoughts are going “fuck.” I tried to reassure my minion that I had seen most of the transaction.

The guy changes his story to how she short changed him because she was “too busy texting” and she cuts him off to show her phone to me, again, saying that she was using her calculator. I told her to go help a customer who was waiting patiently while I’m watching her face flush and tears fill her eyes, I tell her that I’m going to count the drawer to make sure everything’s ok. I walk away to grab the clip board and I hear “You Need JESUS!” come out of her.

I can’t repremand her over this, I can’t talk to her about this with the customer right there. I come back, she threatens to walk out, point her to the customer, and call for The Poodle to come help because we’re getting people. The guy is confused over what’s going on, so he decides to loom over me again. He tells me that he has never. in his life. ever. had to deal with someone on their phone. He switches up his story, while telling it, stating that she was answering a phone call and then “poking on her phone to answer people” and that’s why she messed up.

The buttons on the register are easy to mess up. I’ve done it, she’s done it, minions who have been with the Company for years have done it. Accidents happen. I open the register and then he realizes, after I’ve told him twice I’m going to count the drawer, that I’m going to count the till. He demands to know if I have to “count all of that?!” and I explain that if he’s missing money, I have to to make sure that he gets all of his money back. He scoffs “To hell with that bullshit” and tells me that she “short changed” him $5. He tells me that he got his $5 and he “just wanted the manager to know” that she screwed up because she “was too busy playing on that phone.” I told him, I had seen most of the transaction. I had seen when she asked for his receipt and then pulled out her phone to double check the math.

Behind him, The Poodle is trying to get the minion to calm down, saying things like “deep breath” and whatnot.

She was able to calm down after a while and I really wanted to kick the guy in the kneecaps.

The only thing I can figure is that he was able to get under her skin (she’s got non-work related things going on and all I know is that she’s stressed out). He tried to get under my skin by being a jackass, but lol. Try again ding dong. I’ve worked in retail too godsdamned long to get upset over repeated badgering. Looming over me does nothing. I know I’m short, I’ve known I was short since I was little, and public schools do a lot better job of fucking with you over height than some greasy asshole trying to wheedle more money out of a register.


+ I finished the Adam Nevill book (The Ritual). It was weird. Now I’m reading Joe Hill’s The Fireman and I forgot that I had read the first chapter, so that took a moment. I’m on Part 3, so I’m only at 26%. I’m at that point where I’m like I want to find out what happens next but I want to read something else because I kind of don’t want to know what happens next. It’s a weird thing that happens to me every so often.

+ I started to re-read Small Gods by Sir Pterry and I’m working my way through Raven’s Gate by Anthony Horowitz, which is…odd.

+ We bought an inflatable collar for Uggs (he has twitchy kitty). He is currently thrilled that I have taken it off of him.

I have also found that the sound of him licking the collar makes the same damned sound as him licking a normal e-collar. I can’t win.

+ Jamie, in a fit of manic energy, decided that he was going to bring all the totes of craft supplies up from the basement and into my craft room. The craft room was clean before this.

So, five totes showed up, along with little boxes of things, and somehow his little fabric organizer thingy that he bought for his office found its way in my craft room. I’ve moved the one tote of decorations into the kitchen, to get it out of the way for now, and emptied two totes. One tote is in the closet under the yarn holders, and I think I have more. I can’t remember. I took a small break.

+ The overall goal is to get the craft room done enough to where I can get my rollie chair back into the craft room and use the drafting table for comics/writing.