The day before yesterday was pretty awful and brought some realization that I needed reminding of. But, I’d prefer to not talk about it. Honestly, I’d prefer to forget it and just continue getting away from everything that happened then.
After the day before yesterday, I went: Fuck this, fuck them, fuck this fucking bullshit, if they don’t appreciate it then to fuck with them. I know I’m better than that fucking bullshit so fuck them if they want to do this and I’ll put my fucking energy elsewhere because fuck this bullshit.
Yesterday’s attitude had that in the background and it helped a lot.
So, I’m going to put my energy into what I want to have done. I’m going to get this book finished, I’m going to work on this novella and finish it, I’m going to get this knit blanket finished (I hit the halfway point the other day and now I’m like 20 rows into the second half! I am excite). I’m going to make those blankets I want to make. I’m going to make those fursuits I want to make. I’m going to make those costumes I want to make. I’m going to work on those stories that keep bouncing around in my head.
I am going to put my energy into my writing and my art and fuck them.
I told Jamie about my thoughts and he’s all about it and I have found that I feel much better so I’m going to try to keep this attitude up for a bit. Because I know I’m better than this and I don’t need any outside bullshit fucking with my already borked brain. It does a good enough job as it is fucking with me, I so do not need others adding onto it.