so tired

I got a new job (yay) and with new job comes fluctuating hours until I am “trained” enough to deal with the duties that need to be dealt with. Because of New Job, our lives have been strange trying to get into the groove of this.

Jamie’s schedule, at least for now, is pretty set in stone. So, the last 3 days was us getting up at 2 am to get to work by 4 am and leave anywhere between 1.30 and 4 pm. Day before yesterday, Jamie got a call as soon as we got onto the interstate asking if he could come back later and work 6 to 9 pm, which he did.

Because of this schedule, this means that we’ve been very…limited to what we can do at the house. Dogs get let out, pets get fed–these are musts because they’re living animals who depend on us (and I don’t want to clean up pee from the floor or get smothered by a cat in my sleep because I forgot to check if he had food). But, the scant few dishes we’ve used up were just thrown in the sink and not washed, laundry got piled into the laundry tote and food has been something akin to “it’s a peanut butter sandwich, throw it in a bag and let’s go.”

Yesterday, I walked past a coworker who asked why I wasn’t my usual chipper self (because I am back at Store…Store that I was at a year and a half ago) and I told her that it’s because I am on Day 3 of having two 2 o’clocks in one day and we’ve been up anywhere between 18 and 20-some hours every day just because of work schedules and whatnot.

Yeah, I realize that some people are like this all the time and some people work double shifts all the time and hey, more power to you. For real.

But I cannot do this. Doing things like this makes my hallucinations more noticeable to me, makes the hallucinations more frequent, and makes my bullshit meter go down a lot. I begin making mistakes, like misreading the time or getting sticky labels stuck on other sticky labels. It starts out as ridiculous stuff and I know that it will just continue to devolve until terrible mistakes are made, and I just can’t have that.

Jamie and I got home yesterday at about 4.30 and decided we’d sit down for a bit and then get up and begin doing housework. He sat down and I let the dogs out. Hobbes came back inside, but the neighbor was outside and walking his bigger dog (they have this beagle mix type hound dog and a teeny little chihuahua looking dog).

Firefly somehow managed to squeeze herself underneath the fence and the dirt to run across the street to sniff the dog and…almost got hit by a car. I yelled at her and by the time I had gotten out of the backyard, the car that almost hit her had stopped in a dog-recreation of Home Alone where the van stops right at Kevin’s face while he’s screaming. The guy asked if it was our neighbor’s dog, he said no it was mine as I’m running down the driveway to get to her.

Firefly is super lucky she didn’t get hit by a car and super lucky our neighbor doesn’t have leash reactivity. The dog just stood there like “what the fuck” while Firefly sniffed at her and I took off my jacket to tie around her neck to lead her back to the house. I was fully expecting the neighbor’s dog to be all “NOPE” and snark at Fly (if that happened, Fly deserved some snark for the shit she pulled) and walked Firefly back into the house holding onto the jacket and having to walk her with her between my legs. I told her she was a bad dog and if that guy had hit her, I was going to tell him to just go and leave her there (it’s an empty threat. I would’ve freaked the fuck out. But, since it didn’t happen and my damn stupid dog isn’t injured, I get to chide her for being a damn stupid dog). The entire time I was thinking that at least it wasn’t Hobbes.

Got the dogs inside, let them just hang out in the house and came out to find that Jamie’s work gloves are destroyed and Cricket ate one of my pairs of underwear. We put them up, sat down for a few and I went fuck this, I’m going to bed.

I slept for 16 hours.

At some point, Jamie got up and made Waffles. I keep telling myself that I’m going to go back to sleep because I’m tired and a little bit ago I found myself trying to adjust my eyeball because I didn’t have my glasses on and I have no idea where they’re at (and I’ve been up for just barely more than an hour)


kind of laughable

I had an interview with Victoria’s Secret the other day. Granted, I didn’t apply to the shop, I applied to a sister company. Jamie found the whole thing hilarious and I figured hey, why not. The most that’ll happen is they’ll tell me they’re going with someone else.

So, I walked into the store for the first time in my life.

While waiting for the “group” interview (2 of the interviewees didn’t show up so it wound up being just me and a bubbly girl who was very enthusiastic), and wondering how a company managed to con women into believing that lace was comfortable for an undergarment, I found myself face-to-face with a giant screen of runway models.

For most people, I’m assuming, going into Victoria’s Secret, the constantly playing runway show is just background distraction while they browse. I found myself wondering how they make the wings. And wing-like things (there was one model stomping down the runway wearing a giant double-bow on her back in lieu of wings)

I don’t remember seeing if they were wearing some sort of harness or straps, but I know it got me thinking of the wings themselves. Do they use wire? Piping? There needs to be enough strength to hold its shape and not flump over, but light enough to give enough bounce slightly with each step.

I am curious as to how they make them. It’d be something neat to learn.

I didn’t get the job, however. I recieved an email stating they were going with someone else and I’m hoping that the bubbly girl got her wish of working with them.

So I’ve been re-watching Sailor Moon

Sailor Moon holds a special place in my little black heart. It’s not the first anime that I watched (it’s a tie between Bastard and Akira, both of which I haven’t seen in a very long time and should re-watch soon), but it’s one of the first anime titles that I remember actively seeking out.

I remember catching it the first time it came on television in my area and being pulled into this bizarre world of storylines longer than one episode. I remember sitting there watching the first episode, with this huge crybaby as the lead, and my dad grumbling behind me, playing solitaire on the computer, wondering why I would watch something so stupid. I remember him getting hooked by episode 3 and, not too long later (during the first run of Sailor Moon R I think), him getting me hooked onto Ronin Warriors.

It was a different time back then. Dad still swore up and down that he was 12 and “never growing up,” it was before Mom was diagnosed with MS, and, hell, RoaVa Con/Sheva Con still existed (and you could go watch the SCA beat the shit out of each other on the grounds of one of the local high schools). Dad and I still talked, Halloween-dot-com still had their really awesome set-up and I found so many wonderful ghost story pages (like The Shadowlands, which I still occasionally go on), The Bone Garden Estate (currently cannot find a link to it. aww, damn), and so many pagan and wicca pages to print things off from.

I watched the show, followed it from station-to-station/channel-to-channel, watched the repeated runs of the series while waiting for the next installment. Dad had a running pull-list of the manga through a local bookshop (sadly no longer around. I miss Perdue’s. it was awesome and quirky as hell), and at some point paid “a work friend” who was going to a con at Virginia Beach to get him the entire series on VHS, including the “never before seen” ones. He never got them. (he was given an excuse along with an Usagi pin).

Years have passed and occasionally I’d think about the series. A couple of years ago, I’d decided to re-watch the series and found the Live Action version. It was a lot of fun and I like how they did the transformations and how they worked around Luna.

And then, I don’t know, like a week ago? I decided screw it, I’m going to sit and re-watch from the beginning. I’d found a handful of episodes of the Starlights series, but I wanted to find the first one. This caused me to think more of just re-watching the whole thing. It’s a fun series and I enjoy it. I ended up talking to a friend about it while I found somewhere online that showed the episodes. She asked if I was watching it subbed or dubbed, and if dubbed–was it the original dubbing?

I’d told her I found the original dubbing and was watching that. Hey, why not? Let’s have a small nostalgia quake.

Watching the original dubbing all the way through, from the first to the last episode of SuperS, was…kind of strange. I had completely forgotten why I hated Rini so much (in S her voice is great, in SuperS, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard that give me a migraine), I found it hilarious when the voice actor changed for Serena and did not remember noticing this years ago.

Now, I’m in the Sailor Starlights series. The last series. I have 15 episodes left and I don’t know if I’m going to go for Crystal (I hear it’s terrible). I’m a couple episodes in from the introduction of Chibichibi and found myself on the Sailor Moon wiki looking up who she really is, because I couldn’t remember. (and it’s been a long time since I’ve read any of the manga).

I realized that I am farther along the series than my dad ever will be. He can’t do subbed anime due to his severe dyslexia. And, I don’t think he’d appreciate the Starlights anyway (for reasons)

I’ve jotted down notes of costumes I’d love to make if I ever got around to it and it’s been great background noise while I knit (which is hard to do when I’m watching the sub). I’m glad I made the decision to re-watch this. It’s still a fun series, I still really enjoy it, and I still really want a Wicked Lady costume.


Still working on the shawl I started a few weeks ago or so (omg it’s not done). I am 28 rows away from being halfway done (yay) and I have finished the skein that wouldn’t end. Now I’m on the second skein.

Yay, one skein down. One ugly ass pink skein used up and now I’m on the second one.

Working on this thing, I’ve practically buried the cat in the finished part while knitting and have realized that, by the time I’m done, I’ll be able to wrap Cricket in this and not have it drag the floor.

I’m not sure how it’s going to look until I’m done. I have an idea (a hope), but right now it just looks like a woven blanket.

And now I am wanting to be done as soon as possible, because I want to use the hideous rainbowy skeins of yarn (2, maybe 3) I have in my stash and make a new shawl, but in a slightly different way.

I also want to see if I can make a dog sweater. Because I have lost my mind and I have “big dogs.”

Groovin’ along

I’ve gotten 590 words in today so far. Woo, go me.

omg I want to be done with this story. I am at 6983 words. I am ready for my last-minute throw-in character to be eradicated and another character pulled away at the last minute, but dude. I’m stuck 10.5 ft away from salvation. A page and a half is what I’ve gotten done through and my narrator has made one large step to freedom. Now they’re approximately 8 ft from the doorway and I’m at the point where I can’t tell if I’m just being a wordy bastard or what.

I’m hoping that soon I’ll be done with the first draft. I asked Jamie if he’d skim through it to see if at least it flows well enough before I go and work on edits for it because I like the idea for this story (but omg why is this part taking so long).

An old idea I had years ago is poking my brain with “what happens next” so hopefully I’ll finish this one and go piddle around with that one.

I talked with Jamie about doing Inktober this year and he thought it was a cool idea. I thought it’d be a fun idea since I’m finally working through the comic and posting it on tumblr. I figured I could do a sketch, take a pic with my phone, and post it to the tumblr blog and probably even instagram and see what happens. Never know.

I found some con panels that talk about how to pitch to an agent and how to send query letters. I’m using them as background noise while I write and not really paying all that much attention to what they’re talking about. A few things pop up every once in a while and it’s pretty funny.

On the other side of the creative spectrum, I have made it through a grand total of 4 rows on this damned shawl.

It’s hard to work on the loom with a very determined cat who wants your lap and does not want to move for anything.

I ended up looking at some of my stash earlier this morning and realized I’ve got 3 skeins of this weird rainbowy yarn, that I re-rolled because the skeins were being a pain and I’m kind of a nut anyway, and thought that it’d look fun as a shawl. wtf, manders.

Dogs don’t like my music

As a fan of music of varying types, from centuries long-past to things released within the past couple years, I’ve found that I typically land on the same upbeat music over and over again when I want to listen to something while I clean.

Typically, this usually involves an array of 90s (pop, ska, punk, house/acid) and the dogs are displeased.

Firefly is pretty aloof about the whole thing, just as long as she gets to curl up on the couch. Bug seems to like pop more than the others, Hobbes just gives me his sad/confused-dog stare, and Cricket seems to think that it’s the perfect time to jump on people or go see Jamie.

I have noticed, however, that all of them hate Jamiroquai. Which sucks for them.

Hobbes is more of a fan of Alt/Rock and metal (seriously, cut on Volbeat or some old school Cradle of Filth and he is all about that). And they all like Voltaire.

Yesterday while cleaning the living room, Jamie cut on Spotify through the PS4 for me (because I couldn’t find it) and I found that none of the dogs like the Spin Doctors. What the hell, dogs.

Sigh, oh well I guess. Now this just means there are 5 people in the house that I can annoy with my atrocious tastes in music. Jamie’s pretty used to it (he should be after all the time we’ve known each other), but now he’s got a pair of AfterShockz headphone thingies so he can listen to podcasts while I continue to be a dork.

trudging along

+ Jamie and I watched the latest season of GoT. Jamie excitedly informed me of the 2 books coming out that are pretty much the background of the Targaryens that were cut out of the beginning of ASoIF while I texted a friend of mine discussing various theories on what’ll happen as well as the classic “never trust an off-screen death.”

+ I’ve made a handful of scarves and found a finished scarf or two that I had meant to post up to sell. Currently, I’ve finished the base of Jamie’s Bear Hat and now just need to make a new pair of ears (and I keep forgetting to grab a thicker crochet hook since the average 5mm one has decided it doesn’t like me), and I’ve started working on another shawl.

I have 5 skeins of the same colour yarn (this soft bubblegum pastel pink) and there’s nothing that I can think of using it for, so now I’m making a shawl out of it. 274 more rows and I’ll be done with it and I’ll be able to see if my initial idea for a shawl works or if it looks just as ridiculous as I assume so I can stop making them this way and go with a different idea.

+ I’m working on a story idea that is working its way determinedly towards novelette. If I can get to novelette then woohoo for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything that could even be thought of as novelette length.

I have a little post-it that reminds me of the word-length that things are considered as well as the average length of an anthology. I’m pretty sure I could create an anthology of short stories I have worked on, especially if I actually sit down and work through the ideas that I have jotted down at various times.

On the one hand, I think it’d be a learning experience on how to do it and just work on something like that. Knowing that it’s frustrating as hell to self-pub your work, especially with little to no readers who know I write and read what I write. On the other hand, I also know that I really should look over what I’ve written and “finished,” editing things and making them better. Bothering people into reading what I’ve got for some sort of feedback so I can fix things.

I could suck it up, and look for anthologies and magazines to submit stories to, and wait for rejection slips. I could create a reddit account and post some of the things I’ve got on there, but…I don’t really like reddit. (kinda strange coming from someone who loves NoSleep Podcast).

I could share the links of the stories on the NoSleep fb fangroup page. People seem to get various amounts of responses when they share things. I could share the links on tumblr, but it’s pretty hit-or-miss for the most part.

Stopping on that train of thought.

I’m working on a story that has decided it’s going to meander its way longer than I’ve expected. I’ve been able to add a couple hundred words and now I’m at 4116 words currently. Hey, not bad. Go me.

I’m still on the first draft and know that I’m going to have to change some things around before I share it (because this is the “throw your friends into your story and fuck with them” story), but I’m thinking of keeping it 1st POV. I think it’s from listening to NoSleep and Chilling Tales (and various other stories) that I’m focusing more on 1st POV than 3rd.

I’m hoping to be done with it soon. Currently, I’m in the process of freaking out my characters.