I need a break

I need a short break from writing (to write more! ha). I’ve spent the past two and a half hours working on an idea and I am trying so hard to not read over it because it is shit. I can hear it in my head as I write it, in fact, I can hear David Cummings reading it in my head which is kind of what I’m going for–not a story for NoSleep, but where parts are being read.

Does that make sense? Probably not. (yay terrible vague posting)

I’ve had to look up how long it takes someone to read aloud a paragraph or whatever and have had to plan parts of what I’ve got so far accordingly. Chances are, I’m going to have to throw it out, print what I’ve got, and read it out loud to myself to figure out how long it’ll take.

I have ran across lectures from Manly P. Hall, a Canadian mystic from the early-to-mid 20th century. It’s been fascinating listening to the lectures, until Jamie points out that it sounds like the guy is going to keel over at any moment, and then I can’t take what the guy says seriously for a few minutes.

So.

I realized the other day that the days I asked off so we could head up to see NoSleep Live are probably still “pending” in the system at work. I have the feeling that my boss is either going to deny the request (that I’ve had in the system since November) or continue to leave them as pending. Paranoia tells me that I am going to get fired over this, despite telling the boss that we will be out of the state for this (because there is no way in hell that we’re going to NoVA to see NoSleep. Out of state is easier, simpler, and a lot less hassle)

My sense of DOOOOOOOOOM is still pretty high. While I’m fairly sure that I am not training my replacement (because Cricket is easier to train than this person), it still doesn’t help that the underlying threat of being fired over something stupid is still there. I’m actively looking for new employment (and new comic/story fodder. ha) and ended up signing up for some job services website under the guise of Call Center Employment. If I weren’t so stressed and so blah about everything, I’d be a little perturbed by the whole thing.

I’m at a point where I’m like “I don’t care. I just don’t want to be here any longer.” because my stress is at an all-time high, my chest hurts (because of the stress), I have a stress-induced migraine, and I’ve been pulling more strands of hair out than normal.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s