smal adventur

Yesterday I was on my way to an interview, riding the bus and minding my own business (listening to NoSleep and reading The Fifth Elephant again) when the bus stops and two people get on. A waft of alcohol permeates through the bus, but that doesn’t really mean much (if you’re not stumbling drunk, the drivers can’t really tell you you can’t ride or, if they do, they won’t let you off the bus until security comes to pick you up)

The guy walks to the back of the bus and sits down, the woman sits at the first seat on the bust (diagonally from the driver) and closes her eyes. He tells her she needs to pay and she slowly goes through her things, handing him peices of paper and, I’m assuming, asking if it’s what he needs. I’m trying to ignore it because, well, frankly it doesn’t involve me and I’m already using my two defenses against people (podcast and book).

A few stops later, I hear her loudly muttering something, which turns into her loudly talking AT the driver about how “All Italians are Crooked” and “Italians hate anyone who isn’t them.” (which devolved into something akin to “If you aren’t Italian, you aren’t shit to them.” I turned my podcast up a little louder (but I can only go so loud because a) if anyone can hear it, especially the driver, he can tell me to turn it down because it’s distracting, and 2) it was Season 4, episode 3, and that episode has really loud wailing at one point)

The woman is leaned against the rail/plexiglass separating the steps and the seat, eyes closed. She leans up, opens her eyes a fraction, and decides to loudly say the next gem that has popped into her head.

“I’m a Yankee. I’m from the North!”

That’s nice. So’s my dad.

“Grant won the war!”

Yes, yes he did.

“Rebels didn’t win shit.”

I internally facepalmed, realizing that if I did it in real life, it probably would’ve just set her off more or something worse would’ve happened.

Yes, we know “Rebels didn’t win shit.” You’re in Roanoke, Virginia. I notice that other people on the bus are trying really hard to ignore her. The driver has the patience of a saint having to listen to this woman’s drunken rambling.

She continues with how no one in the south likes her because she’s A YANKEE and not a Southern Belle. No, I’m pretty sure people don’t like you because you’re loud.

As we’re nearing Campbell Court, her head is against the plexiglass again and her eyes are closed, she loudly says “And don’t trust black men!”

The woman who is now sitting across from me (chewing gum with her mouth open like a goddamn giraffe) stops chewing and stares at her. The drunk lady continues on her tirade, completely blocking out the fact that maybe 5 people on the bus are white, stating that “They never treat you right and all they care about is money!”

Due to all the buses having video/audio surveillance, I’m pretty sure something will be done eventually. I didn’t wait to find out, I just got the hell off and went to the next bus I needed.


I really want to say “Stay weird, Roanoke,” but this isn’t weird, this is more of “You need a babysitter.”


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