What’s wrong here

Some moments, I think Virginia is fairly backwards. We mean well, but, well, we’re a bunch of hicks . We’re the South that isn’t really The South and the top half of our state is considered Forward and Uppity (and gods damned expensive to live in). I live in the Southwest part. Roanoke is the 3rd or 4th largest city this state has (think about it: there’s Richmond, Charlottesville, and Norfolk. what comes next? Roanoke) and is one of the top cities to come to for outdoorsy stuff (we have bits of the Appalachain Trail! You can easily cruise on the Blue Ridge Parkway at practically any given time–there’s a bunch of entrances to it!) There are some times where I think that Roanoke is the gateway drug for outdoorsy folk (biking, hiking, the greenway, the Parkway, we’ve got a rock wall climby place, there are sidewalks, etc)

Virginia is home to some fairly weird shit (Roanoke has The Star, there’s a giant fiberglass cowhead somewhere [I plan on going to find it], there’s the dude who made Foam Henge [and Foam Henge, obviously], we have Jellystone Park), we have Historical Places (Williamsburg, Monticello, Civil War battlefields–and sometimes reenactments!), we have Moonshine (Franklin County, baby). We also have strange laws (e.g: you can’t walk a donkey down the main street of my hometown. I really want to walk a donkey down the main street of my hometown just to see what happens. I’ll probably get swarmed by children)

The headquarters of PETA is located in Norfolk *twitch* I personally am not a fan of having the headquaters of such a batshit crazy organization of people who think murdering animals is “kinder” than adopting them out. Nor am I a fan of the fact that they absolutely despise my precious babies, who are stupid and derpy and eat bees every spring/summer and have to be given benadryl to ease the swelling down, just because they are block heads.

But, there are moments when I am thankful that we live in our weird, slightly backwards state of Virginia. The business laws kinda suck, but I love that they’re enticing people into having bees for the sake of our environment. I hate that all of our caverns have White Nose and have had the disease for a number of years, but I like the fact that one of the local caverns there are a number of people researching and trying to find a cure for this dreadful ailment (because I love bats. bats are awesome. I helped a bat once when I was working at Walgreens and all my idiot coworkers were freaking the fuck out. It was adorable and was just really tired)

I really hope to have a bathouse for the yard to entice them to eat the mosquitos that’ll invade us in the coming months. I’ve got my Grackels (squee!) and my house sparrow budgie-looking birds (I’m really bad at birds), and the cardinals and bluejays and catbirds who like to torment the dogs. The woodpecker is back and I heard the red-tailed hawk the other day and it’s only a matter of time before we see our neighborhood fox and the handful of buzzards.

But, I am thankful I live in Virginia. Where my friends can marry their significant others without fear of being labeled freaks, without having to go through hoops (or lie for their sake of safety). I’m thankful that my friends can go to any restroom without fear of getting the shit kicked out of them because it’s the one they need to go into, not the one they are told they have to go to just because of some stupid birth defect.

I’m sad that North Carolina has passed this unspeakable law against people who haven’t done a damn thing except the normal “we’d like equal rights” thing. I’m sad that there are areas that still do the whole “ewww” thing and don’t understand that there is a whole world of us weirdos that aren’t cisgendered white males. (I am a Manders. I don’t consider myself male or female unless I have to pee. and then it’s only a matter of “who has the cleanest toilets and who won’t be freaked out.” yeah, I wear a bra and have long hair, but so what. I can pick up your 80lbs car battery with no problem)

I hate that people are still in the mindset of “omg people will hurt our children if we let the _____ in here.” No, people will hurt others because they’re fucked up in the head and will do it no matter what law is enacted. I hate that now people are even more concernd of where they have to pee just because of a bunch of old geezers are afraid. It’s 2016.

What is so wrong with people that they’re terrified of people going to a restroom? It’s a normal body function (unless you’re an undead), and from my almost-30-years experience on this little green/blue ball we call home, I have only witnessed one issue of someone getting harassed in a restroom:: A friend and I had gone to the mall, she had a shaved head (like you do) and dressed androgynous. These two women got all up in her face demanding to know if she knew which restroom she was in. They were angry and ready to knock the shit out of her. She had to reassure them that she was female and all she had to do was pee. She was at the point of telling these really pissed off women that if it made them feel better, she could go to the men’s room and get her ass beat there. They finally calmed down after she loudly exclaimed “I have tits y’know.” They calmed down enough to leave. And y’know what, that shit is scary.

Who in their right mind thinks it’s ok to force people into that situation?

I’m sorry North Carolina, but your politicians are idiots. You have a beautiful state and a lot of fun stuff, but y’gotta do something about your rulings. I do not feel comfortable (even as a seemingly cisgendered white girl, which I don’t really feel like I am. sure, I’m a white girl…with my awesome deathly pallor, but cisgendered? ha, no.) going into your beautiful state (because, honestly, North Carolina is prettier than Virginia). Jamie and I will make our vacation, drive-bys, beach visits, etc elsewhere.

And I don’t know what the fuck is going on with Mississippi. I thought y’all were supposed to be kind of like us. Almost backwoodsy, kinda hickish (saying things like yonder and such), laid back kinda people. Y’all were a state that didn’t really splash in the pool of politics (then again, I honestly don’t know about y’all’s politics because I’ve never had to know them). I’d always thought of Mississippi as twangy, ghostly, and mostly like here. Hot and humid in the summers, mild winters that were always better than ours. A place of ghost stories, legends, and historical things.

But now you’ve got this whole Anti thing going on and I think that’s a load of bollocks. I didn’t know y’all were that gods damned backward. Now y’all look like a bunch of backwoods country folk who dressed in their Sunday Best to spew out bullshit from a eugenics book over 100 years ago because you think it’s a swell idea and gosh darnit if the youngin’s are fighting it.


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