bring on the insanity

(Usually, if I’m at work and I’m asked how I am, I am now responding with “I’ve gone insane.”)

I really need to sit down and force myself to write more than 140 characters at a time, then maybe I could stop sitting down to write and feeling like all I do is crap before deleting a 90% finished post. (yay self-criticism!)

I rang out a friend of mine the other day and asked how her latest book was coming. She let me know that she’s finished it and is working on selling it to/through Amazon, but it was kind of a pain because of a handful of extra steps. I asked her why she never tried Lulu (like Sam Starbuck) and she’d never heard of it.

During the entire time, I am ringing out her things (she had three orders: one for business, one for her, and one for her son [xbox live cards]) and the woman behind her is getting more and more irritated. Probably because gods forbid the cashier can do two things at once.

Then, my friend points out that publicisizng is really hard. She rarely updates her facebook accountt to let anyone know if there’s a new story or she’s coming out with a new book, so I pointed out Twitter. It’s weird, but there’s a lot of authors that are on it, and I told her a few that I follow (Wil Wheaton, John Scalzi, Jenny Lawson–mainly because pointing out Ursula Vernon and Sam Starbuck would just make her go “Huh? Who?”)

By now, the woman behind her has gotten so mad at me, she is slamming her items back into her cart with enough force that I was really surprised that she didn’t make her cantelope explode. She stomped off to the register beside mine to grumble while my friend was paying. I didn’t get a chance to point out any other methods of putting her book out there (i.e. emailing review places and asking if they’d be interested in reading/reviewing her work)

At one point, she asked me why I hadn’t published anything. I told her because every time I write, I think my work is crap and I delete it. She said I was over-critical and I responded with “extremely.”

I told this to Jamie and he pointed out that she has a point. If she can be pushing her second book, why can’t I sit down and put together one?

I don’t know.

I used to be able to crank out at least a short story every few days. But now, it seems like I have a cool idea, but I can’t get past a basic bulletted list or “so what happens if _____ pops up?” And I’m trying to work on doing a bit better, but it also involves more than inspiration and an idea of “oooo! Wouldn’t it be cool if ______?”

Also: I’ve decided I’m going to work on my little goofy comic again. It’s not something I take seriously, it was fun when I worked on it. I also ran across a notebook that had quite a number of quotes/lines to be used for a comic bit and I realized that I never got around to even sketching those out.

I mentioned it to Jamie and he said it was a good idea. I’m still finding myself writing down weird things that happen and I really need to finish compiling the bits of notes that have filled random notebooks.


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