Halloween is getting closer and while I absolutely love Halloween (I am the person who will squee louder and more excitedly than your six year old in the costume section if I find something I like. I have weirded out many people.), I also work retail and therefore kind of dread it.
I have noticed that Halloween things started popping up about…two weeks ago (end of July, beginning of August) and last week I noticed a magazine that was dedicated to “Holiday Crafts!” where it was a giant christmas tree/ornament thing with this teeny tiny bat in a small corner. Working for the company that I am currently with, I am absolutely dreading it all because that means that about 2 weeks before Halloween, they will be bringing out the Christmas shit.
I went into Dollar General today (because it’s one of the few places we can find Jamie’s favorite hot sauce) and they had some Halloween candy and I noticed that they had a small package of Cry Baby gumballs. I will always have hope that a batch of Cry Babies from my childhood will find their way into my adulthood.
This is not that batch.
When I was a kid Cry Baby gumballs were tear-inducing, cough starting, mouth puckering little balls of terror. I couldn’t eat the blue ones without peeling off at least one layer before I could start chewing it. They were more sour than the Black Cherry Warheads: the absolute most sour Warheads in the pack.* You ate Cry Baby Tears to build up a temporary tolerance before popping one of the gumballs in your mouth.
But now, they’re like tiny explosions of sour for 0.5 seconds before you bite down for the first time and then it goes into the flavor and dies into normal “you are eating Juicy Fruit after the flavor goes away” in less than two minutes. I seem to remember having to chew on the gumballs for a while before the sour twangs would go away or the sour bits started hurting your tongue and you had to spit it out.
I haven’t seen Cry Baby Tears in years and I would love to get my hands on them again to see if they hold up to how I remember them. (I also really like how they’ve kept the original cartoony drawing)
*This was when I was a kid. The pack of Warheads was: Blue, Yellow, Red, and Black Cherry. Yellow wasn’t sour at all, Black Cherry was the worst sour wise. Now, I could eat a handful of these and think nothing of it.