Get off my lawn

A while back, we had some friends visiting and they were at the house while we had stepped out temporarily. A gentleman had seen one of them out in the backyard with the dogs and asked if they owned the house, the friend replied yes, so he asked if he could cut through the yard every once in a while and the friend gave him permission. The “friend” (and honestly, I use the term very lightly*) never bothered to tell us what had transpired.

A few months later, the same gentleman cut through the yard, saw me, and asked if I had just moved in and what happened to that other person. I responded with, this is my house, that person was just visiting. He explained that the friend had said they’d owned the house and had given him permission to cut through the yard every once in a while when he really needed it, like when it was really trafficky, and asked if it’d still be ok if he continued. I told him yes, but to please be careful because we do have sticks in the yard in one area and I’d hate for him to trip. He chuckled and said he’d be fine. We see him once in a blue moon cut through part of our yard. (our yard is set up kind of weird)

We have 2 No Trespassing signs on our property, we used to have 3 but we tore down the small building that one sign was on.

Weekend before last or so, two kids come tramping through the yard and start accosting Fred (Jamie’s dad) who was getting ready to leave. He just started his truck and was about to back out when they started talking to him, he said something, and they walked back the same way they came. I gave them a dirty look through the screen door and they ignored it while taking their sweet time getting off our property and then tramping through another neighbor’s yard to accost them with something. I saw they had an order form in their hand. Hey, way to go little entrepreneurs, but didn’t yo momma ever teach you to not go knockin’ door-to-door on strangers’ houses? Sure, this is a nice neighborhood, but John Wayne Gacy, Jr lived in a nice neighborhood too.

Today, I happened to see a teenager tramping through our yard, slow down and gawk at the foundation of the building we tore down this past summer (we’re converting it to something else), and continued moseying along.

Really? Does the term “No Trespassing” not mean anything any longer? Are kids so fucking stupid nowadays they don’t know what the word “trespassing” means? I don’t give a rat’s ass if it’s raining or there’s a little bit of water on the road. Don’t fucking walk through my damn yard. I don’t care if there is traffic, cross the fucking street if you don’t want to walk in the “ditch.”

The goal for this spring was to continue with our “conversion” of the foundation of the little building, but since it seems to be a problem with kids going through our yard, we’re going to have to scrap that idea and save up for new fencing.

I’ve come to the realization that I will have to be like Old Man Wheaton and tell kids to “get off my lawn,” but I’ll probably do it in classic Mander fashion in which I will be yelling “Get the fuck out of my yard.” Because, apparently “No Trespassing” clearly means “Please, by all means, walk through my yard!”


* as for the “friends,” I don’t consider them friends. The term “friends” was a lot easier to type out than “lying cunts” or “those fucking wastes of space.” (why yes, I am still pissed off at these two people and it’s been over two years)


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