Cold knitting

It snowed a few days ago. It was weird as shit, like we time jumped back to the mid 90s (for real. We rarely get this much snow so early in December)

I wanted to share a pic of a scarf I started because I am not writing right now (a mixture of this overwhelming season and teetering in the edge of another bad brain day)

It took a few moments to get a decent shot because it’s so bright it washed out in the initial photo.

Behold the brightness!!


Short vacation?

. “Snow is coming. Sometime between Friday and Monday. Might be flurries, might be 20+ inches” blah blah blah

We have a chance of snow sometime between tonight and sometime Sunday. I’d like a day off, that’d be nice. Jamie’s hoping for snow so his classes are canceled because they scheduled him right before a major holiday to go attend these things. A friend of mine keeps gleefully giving me updates because she loves snow and I don’t. (Yes it is nice, while I am hiding in the warmth of my house wearing pjs and using a blanket as a cape and it is out there while I don’t have to go anywhere)

. Jamie volunteered to booth babe for a friend of ours tomorrow. He also said that he’d bring stuff for the bake sale that is part of the event (large adoption event, bake sale, raffle, vendors, pets) so yesterday I spent time working on things and today I’ve got to finish up with stuff (finishing up cake pops and icing all the cupcakes I made), Jamie is determined to make pumpkin bread, and we’ve got to package everything.

. I left Hobbes out while I baked, he was very pleased with the peanut butter dog treats I was working on. Cricket and Bug decided to trill their unhappiness at me and every so often Firefly would huff at me because the girls were in their room and Hobbes was my baking buddy.

. Yesterday was a bad brain day that started at about 12.30 am after a weird nightmare that even made me go “nope I am not using that for a story base” (but I might? I don’t know, it involved eyeballs), going into another nightmare, and being woken up by something beeping in the bedroom before something started tapping on the bedroom window beside my head.

Yeah, hello bad brain day. I made Jamie check outside after he got up for work.

He didn’t see anything. I still booed the hell out of doing stuff.

. I have not written, which is fine.

. I am working on a new shawl (approximately 50 rows left) to see how symmetrical works instead of my normal asymmetrical style does.

. I’m having to take a small break from my normal horror listening, because of yesterday, and realized that I am like 5 episodes behind on Productivity Alchemy.

. And now I get notified that Upper Management is coming today, no ones done freight for my department (because only Ajax and I do it and he’s learning to not trust Weeaboo to do it cuz he takes an hour just to get four boxes), and I’m just…resigned to working until I’m too exhausted to move.

This is how I got into a bad brain day yesterday.

I’m going to have to change my availability cuz I can’t keep doing this.

Have a pic of dog cookies. New thrown together recipe, which Hobbes is a fan of.

Deadline fail

I failed my self-imposed deadline and I am ok with this. Why? Because I work retail and I’m an idiot for thinking I’ll be getting all of this stuff done by the end of November.

Will I be setting a new deadline for myself for “end of the year”? No, no I will not.

But why?

Because I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. I work retail (in the reject department because we are constantly getting the shit-end of things), this is a huge season for everyone who works retail, and the running back and forth is causing more joint pain (the explosive anger that I’ve worked hard to tap down and not do has been rearing up more and more often).

And Faustus died. My basement buddy for laundry, Jamie’s gaming buddy, my big-headed snuggle monster died unexpectedly on Friday and we’re taking it hard. Jamie’s torn up about it and Snooch is super confused and I’m constantly expecting Faust to be sitting on the dryer making his “meh” noises at me.

Everything’s kind of…exhausting in general. By the time we get a day off, we’re having to do housework that we’d ignored throughout the week. It’s a never ending cycle.

On a lighter note::

+ December 1st started my light trolling of people who are on my fb list with random Christmas songs.

Hey, if I have to listen to the same Mariah Carey song 15 times a day, then they get to deal with a random youtube video of various songs.

December 1st started us with the classic “I’m Dreaming of a Dead City” by HPLHS.

+ I decided to finally take a deep breath and see if I could actually thread my sewing machine (yeah, the sewing machine Jamie bought me years ago that I threatened to break every time I went to try to thread the damn thing. It’s one of the fancier ones that has like 50 different stitch options including like 6 button hole options) and I was able to successfully do it. Go me.

Then I realized that it didn’t have the power cord with it and remembered that we might’ve thrown it away because we were going through various cords not too long ago to see what goes where and found a cord we couldn’t remember where it went. Well, the cord didn’t get thrown away and it works.

It turns on! It has a light!

Vimes’ “Boots Theory”

There is a thing from the Discworld novels known as “Vimes’ Boots Theory of Economic Unfairness,” and I can’t help but think about it every time I need a new pair of shoes.

Years ago, my mom bought me this really awesome pair of boots for my birthday. They were $80 and lasted 10 years (they survived through my stint in college, going to The Gathering, walking everywhere, various jobs I’d had, the winterpocalypse that one year, etc). They were the best boots ever.

And then they barely lasted the last year because A) they were old and 2) I was walking about 15 miles a day just in [Store] on top of our usual going about life. I bought myself another pair after resigning myself to the fact that it was either new shoes or blisters forever on the backs of my ankles as I’d worn out the fabric of that part and was constantly rubbing the plasticy heel part of the boot.

That second pair lasted a year.

I gave up and decided that if a really great pair of shoes is only going to last me a year in this job, why am I shelling out the $80 for these shoes? Also: it was a time of immense stress and…I try to not think about it. (it was a very trying year)

I found a pair of rainbowy shoes and got those. I was with [Other Store] for a time and I didn’t need as reinforced footwear as I did with [Store]. I also acquired a pair of snowboots which have been highly useful during the rainy periods.

This past year, however, being in the new position at [Store], I am averaging about a pair of shoes every 2-3 months. The rainbowy shoes? Lasted two months before peeling apart. I got a pair of light-up shoes (they were $5), they lasted almost 3 months before simultaneously splitting across the ball of the foot on each shoe. I found this out while standing in the department after Coworker Derp had sprayed the floor to mop it and wondered why my feet were wet.

Pair of sneakers? Lasted three months before I almost tripped down the front steps of the house to my doom because they’d peeled apart and I didn’t know it.

The cute little boots I found that fit and were fairly comfortable ($12), I realized needed to be replaced by next month because I could feel the dislocation of a metatarsal bone in my foot and that’s a sign, to me at least, that I have walked so much I’ve worn the shoes out (and I went from being fine to “omg my feet are fucking killing me” not too long ago. even getting up out of bed causes extreme foot pain–a sure sign I need new shoes).

And I heard the distinctive break/peel sound coming from them last night when I knelt down to clean the food splatters off the wall of the case (because my coworkers are fucking idiots and never clean the wall of the cases). I’m going to have to find my hot glue gun today and glue them at least reasonably shut until we get paid next week.

I’m tired y’all

So I can definitely say that I am not going to have this book idea done by the end of the month, and honestly, I’m ok with that. I haven’t worked on any writing and I think I’ve made it past the halfway point on Blanket2.0.

But I’m tired.

Yesterday took about a week to get through and today only seems better because I have the day off so I can actually get some house work done.

Yesterday we had a surprise visit from one of the upper managers, which caused The Queen to freak out because she was trying to leave and I was just waiting on this upper manager to come into my department and demand to know why the cooler door was open (because I can’t fit our racks, this cart of freight, and myself into the cooler. I don’t have the room). I was trying to put our freight up, which was a crazy amount because we’re trying to gear up for this week, and that put me behind on everything else.

I hate this season, I really do. It’s stressful as hell and we spend all of our energy at work so by the time we get home, we’re exhausted and do the bare minimum.

I’d love to say that we have about a month left of this, but that doesn’t take into account new years eve. Some departments will be winding down, but not us. This is what we get for busting ass and trying to make our department better (and I’m proud of us, we’ve worked really hard to make our department better.) Hell, chances are, we probably won’t even begin winding down until after Super Bowl (and fuck that, I’m going to ask for that day off as soon as I can because I do not want to deal with that.)

Now I’ve got to check to see if the neighborhood kids are gone to school so I can let the dogs out so I can work on cleaning their room.

self-imposed deadline

I feel a bit like an idiot, giving myself “til the end of November” as my self-imposed deadline knowing full damn good and well I work retail and still have no concept of time (time is wibbly). And, on top of that, coming to the re-realization (again) that excess stress makes my crazy worse because the hallucinations have been “BUGS!” and “why hello there creepy fucking voice talking at my back.”

And, well, basically, we have this week to finish prepping for people who don’t understand the concept of not waiting until the last minute to get their godsdamned turkey-n-trimmin’s (along with…coworkers who won’t do their damn job). Then there’s the weekend of “I think X-place has a home game” and the amount of people that come with that, and then we have the following week which is just…the beginning of really stressed out, exhausted, angry people and I’m just glad I work in a hole and I can hide in my department and they’ve officially taken away my register numbers so they can’t use me for this season.

And my dumb ass thinks it’s a good idea to at least try to finish this book idea this month? What the hell is wrong with me?

But, I’m attempting to work on creating a last story. I’ve gotten about two pages written of one idea and about another page written for another idea (woo, go me). I’ve also got my Halloween-based idea laying around here somewhere and a mostly-finished or completed Easter-based story laying around here somewhere (probably in a notebook under the desk).

If I don’t get to my “I want this typed up all together, edited, and at least preliminary sketches for the cover done by the end of the month,” I’ll see how close I can actually get and count it as a victory. I’ve been saying I’ve wanted to do this for years and now I’m actually doing it, so there. Small victory getting it started and continuing to work on it.

Beyond writing:

I’ve gotten a handful of more rows added to the blanket and the ball of yarn has practically halved in size. I need to find a better way to have the finished part tied up while I work on adding rows because the hair tie I’m using is not cutting it.

Jamie’s still determined to get, or make, a fursuit by next Halloween, so hopefully we’ll be able to hit up a place so I can buy tape to start working on making a mannequin to start the build process.

word vomit

I’m just going to blather on about various things.


Have I written anything? No.
Have I worked on edits? No.
Have I thought of a title for the book? Maybe?
Have I looked up to see if a word is copyrighted? Yes, so this means that one of  my stories is going to have  a different title in the book (but not on here)
Am I going to write today? Maybe? Possibly?


I am currently working on version 2.0 of a blanket I had intended to make years ago. Isn’t that how it goes? You buy all the supplies you think you need with all the intention of “as soon as I finish this project this will be my next thing” and you realize it’s been like…2 or more years and you’re staring at it going: I could make this better a different way.

Yeah, that’s how this is going.

The parts to Blanket1.0 was already made and just needed to be stitched together, which I never got around to doing (because I kind of forgot about it) and then I realized: I have the S loom now and it should, in theory, be easier to make a small blanket with it. So, I pulled apart one of the panels, re-rolled it, and started remaking it.

Currently, Blanket2.0 is measuring 65″ wide and 20″ long and I have run out of the yarn from the first panels (3 panels, each 1 skein. so I’m down 1 skein of yarn now and now I’ll have to pull apart panel 2, re-roll it, and continue working on the piece) I’m hoping that, by the time I’m done, it’ll have made a nice little lapblanket or so.


Jamie decided to rearrange the bedroom last night, saying that moving the furniture wasn’t a problem (yet I found the computer mouse in the nightstand), but moving all of our decorations was a pain in the ass, he gave up, and I could work on it today.

Well, the decorations are mostly all back up and my fingers hurt from putting tacks back in the wall (hey, it’s our house, we can deal with it later), and I spent roughly two hours looking for the mouse so I could cut on the computer so I could cut something on to listen to while the Trex were charging. The mouse was in the nightstand.

The bedroom looks better and I still have some stuff around the house that needs to be done (laundry mainly) and the dogs won’t go outside because it’s raining except for Cricket and I do not want to chase her fluffy butt around the backyard trying to get her back in, so pitbulls win this round and everyone’s staying inside

Jamie surprised me and bought me a Giant Sloth! This thing is taller than both of us, as well as a coworker who swears he’s 6ft tall, so I’m guessing it’s approximately 75″ long. It’s massive and I joked to Jamie that he bought me a fursuit and he shot back “Nope, it’s a mannequin.” good point.

I spent a little while last night, while trying to go to sleep, trying to think of the best way to use it as a base for making a me-size mannequin. I can easily put an old shirt on it for torso/arms, but I’d probably have to find a pair of shrunk pj pants that I don’t wear. And then it’d be all “how would I wrap it, what would I wrap it with, what can I use to make sure I don’t actually cut the toy” and then spent a few minutes thinking on the way I could use its head as a base for a fursuit head.

Jamie wants a fursuit by next Halloween. I think we could do it.


We’re in the holiday season and corporate is sending us loads of extra stuff. We haven’t even really begun getting the Black Friday stuff yet, and our stockroom looks…fucking awful. I was expecting at least a few more days before the labyrinth of pallets/stock was needed to pass before getting to the breakroom, but that shit started over the weekend.

I also got super aggrevated at everyone last night to the point where I looked at Weeaboo (coworker) and went “It’s the holiday season, y’all can survive or y’all can’t. I am fucking done with this.” and went back to finishing someone else’s job because it needed to be done and the store manager was still roaming the store and I didn’t want to get chewed out for someone else not finishing their work.

At one point, The Queen (one of the managers) just stopped talking to me because she saw the look on my face of “are you fucking kidding me, fine I’ll do it myself.” And Ajax got to listen to me bitch about various things while he was re-stocking the freezer.

I was talking to Jamie about it, after I’d clocked out and had spent my time hiding in the back (finishing the morning shift’s work) and calming myself down, and we both came to a horrible realization:

There’s only two people that work his department that worked Black Friday/Thanksgiving last year (him and another guy). Coworker Derp (I told him his nickname and he laughed, he said it was perfect because, as he says he’s “a total derp.”) was in my department last year so he has no idea what he’s in store for.

I am the only person who works past 6pm in my department that has worked Black Friday/Thanksgiving. Granted, I was a cashier last year so I didn’t get to experience the department on those days, but I was there leading up to it and I am one of the…3? 4? people who know how to make trays and I was right in there with the others making trays for people.

None of the closers have ever worked this season before in this department. I am the only one (which is probably why I got scheduled as a closer for the department this year). I am fucked. Especially because Weeaboo will straight up lie to customers, New Person has been here for like a week (and it’s their first job ever), Timid still refuses to answer the phone, and the only person who’s even asked questions about trays has been New Person and they haven’t even seen how to do any of them. Wait, let me correct that, Cheese will help set up for trays because he’s a nice guy, but even he’s getting tired of the bullshit that is our department.

For non-retail folk, this seems like a huge waste of time/energy to be worrying about it now. But, for retail-people, dude…that shit’s in like 2 weeks.

And now I need to stop complaining about work because it’s just irritating me all over again. But, I also do need to see what the dogs are barking at.

Oh! speaking of:

I got a photo text the other day from Jamie as he was coming home. It’s a photo of Hobbes, standing on top of his crate, staring out of the dog room window like a creeper. I’m just glad Hobbes didn’t decided to jump through the screen because the window was open (hey, it was a nice day that day)